No more games - play what you’ve got! Part 8, Mythical Warfighting

Part 1: No more new games - play what you’ve got!

Part 2, Return of the Living Deck Builders

The Not Nearly As Thumbed Part 3, Hang On – Some Of These Aren’t Even On The List

Part 4, But You Can’t Just Throw Away Gifts, Obviously…

Part 5, Part 5, Fortune and Zombies, Kid

Part 6, MISSION FAILED!!!  I BOUGHT NEW GAMES!!!

Part 7, Stop buying new games - remember?!

I’ve supposedly * banned new games from being purchased in 2014 to allow us a year to play through all the games we’ve already got.  If a brilliant, must-have game emerges this year I’ll just have to wait to see if it survives a few months of fair reviewing and the cult of the new to become a lasting classic, and if so I should theoretically have no problem picking it up in 2015 anyway.  

*  Actually failed though, see part 6 above.


Play what I’ve got, eh?  Well, thanks to my most recent failings and new purchases what I’ve got isn’t all old games now, and of course the allure of the Cult of the New is undeniable.  So whilst I might have WANTED to continue playing through our list of games and trying to actually finish this year’s quest to play all the games we own, what we actually ended up doing is playing with all the shiny new stuff instead.  

Interestingly, our little regular two player gaming combo has recently expanded to between 4 and 5 regular players, which really mixes up what games we play, and has basically indefinitely shelved 2 player games like Twilight Struggle.

So here’s the list of Willpower Fails/New Arrivals this year (so far):

1. Friday
2. Greenland
3. Legendary Encounters: An Alien Deck Building Game
4. Shadowrun: Crossfire
5. Warfighter: The Special Forces Card Game

The only one I haven’t even played yet is Greenland, which looks interesting and very different from my usual fare - the others have already proven to be great games.
And here’s some more Faintly Justified New Arrivals:

6. Advanced HeroQuest (traded for my old Advanced Space Crusade)
7. Eldritch Horror (birthday present)
8. X-Wing Miniatures Game (birthday present)
9. Innovation (gift from Dicky P)
10. Myth (technically backed previous to this year so that’s okay)
11. Shadows of Brimstone (technically backed previous to this year so that’s okay too)

Seems like there’s no hope of completing my mission to play everything by the end of 2014 now, but hey, stay subscribed anyway, because, you never know…

Myth

We should not really technically be playing this yet because it’s not on The List for this year, but my Kick Starter Captain pledge finally arrived and it’s an absolute behemoth!  Can’t believe how many minis you get – there was no way it was going to all fit back in the box.  There are also a quadrillion tokens, so storage is quickly an issue.  I do feel sorry now for those who buy this at retail, but I guess just two enemy types only is what you get in Claustrophobia and that’s a great, contained game.  

The horrors I’d heard about the rules put me off sitting down and trying to figure Myth out, and the caustic negativity surrounding the game in the BGG forums was so intense that for probably the first time ever I didn’t even want to turn to the forums for help.  That said, Dave, a friendly fellow BGGer came to our aid.  Turns out he lives just around the corner from me, backed Myth at mega Apprentice level, had already figured out the rules AND got his own campaigns going, and he offered to teach us how to play.  So it was the he (Acolyte) sat down with Sam (Apprentice) and me (Soldier) to wander into the homes of some grubbers, muckers and crawlers and set about attempting to mercilessly slaughter them all, as with any good old dungeon crawler.

And since you can create your own difficulty on the fly, we only have ourselves to blame for the merciless slaughter that actually ended up being inflicted on us!  Our first tile went okay, and we were bashing monsters and picking up GP and potions but also gathering some threat.  But on the second tile everything went downhill.  The darkness struck back, and captains started appearing and before long Sam’s Apprentice was overrun and taken down, so we called it a day.  We all enjoyed it, and I was pretty happy with the experience, seeing a lot of potential in the game.  I’ve since set up my own copy and played through two solo run-throughs of the downloadable walkthrough scenario using the Soldier and Acolyte.  But both times I was slaughtered when Yarrdu showed up once and the Terror showed up the next time.  Judging the difficulty of this game is as difficult and random as I feared I think.  I certainly don’t see the ’just make it up’ aspect that they were pushing as any kind of feature at all, and this was the one element I was dreading.  So I’ll have to play it a bit more to be able to judge that difficulty level accurately and respond accordingly.  I wish they had played it enough to round out some missions that introduce you gradually, especially since they’ve included a form of campaign play in the way that you ‘level up’ the treasure bag.  Again, another missed opportunity – I’m fairly sure most players are more interested in progressing their hero abilities more than they are in altering an abstract notion of how much treasure their hero may or may not collect in the next adventure.

The rules are as abysmal as every other commentator has noted, and I’ve since read the fanmade rules to try and digest the gameplay.  He’s done a sterling job of parsing them down, but they’re still so damned unintuitive at their core that even Universal Head would have his mind blown trying to create a player aid for this game.  Which is a shame, because there does seem to be an enjoyable adventure romp underneath all this murky mental swamp.  And the miniatures and tiles are really top notch, way better than I was expecting even.  Hope to table this again some time soon, and at least beat that bloody walkthrough…

Players = 3
Games played in 2014 = 3
Rating in 2014 = 7

Warfighter: The Special Forces Card Game

Wow. Just wow.  Game of the year 2014?  Right here.
Finally and probably permanently but the kybosh on my development of my own squad-based action card/board game Oh Dark Hundred.  I only design games that I want to buy or play which don’t already exist.  But glancing at my design notes for ODH it looks like I’ve literally just lifted everything from DVG’s Warfighter but without any of the finishing touches or polish.  Which kind of makes sense since the idea came to me after playing quite a lot of Phantom Leader Deluxe on the iPad.  A cooperative, squad-based, tactical card game shooter where you gear up your elite troops and send them up against overwhelming odds to defeat an objective behind enemy lines.  Only instead of being near future sci-fi, DVG’s game has photos of real soldiers on the cards.  There are fairly incongruous computer generated bad guys too, but as Dan himself said, he was hardly going to go capture photos of Columbian drug cartels.
Being raised on men-on-a-mission war films this is all right up my street, and brilliantly implemented, with – gasp – campaign play added in for the win.  Campaign play - that shiny new and positive development in board games that is becoming almost ubiquitous in thematic games now.  I mean, it’s been there all along in games like Warhammer Quest and the old dungeon crawlers and war games, but this persistence of achievement and development or growth of a character over continuing sessions is clearly something that a lot of gamers, and no doubt ex-RPGers are craving right now, and I count myself firmly amongst those people.
Also, watch how Dan the designer listens and responds to his fans – this is Richard Launius level of passion and care about what he does.  Happy to be a part of the Kick Starter for the next lot of expansion content, and particularly looking forward to us getting that scenario booklet.

Players = 1-3
Games played in 2014 = 20+
Rating in 2014 = 9

Defenders of the Realm

Dave brought his brand new Kick Starter fancified set round with all the extra bits and pieces.  We shuffled in the new quests and characters but mostly stuck to the core set rules against the four basic generals.  Jackie was the Adventuress, Dave took the Dwarf and I was the Druid, since I hadn’t seen or played him before.  I’m always up for a game of Defenders, and we were soon out and about hacking up minions and scouring the land for those dreaded generals.  We shared the arse kicking responsibilities out as evenly as we could, trying to temper the evil generals’ progress against the late war event cards.  A couple of the generals came close to Monarch City but we built gates, flew on eagles and basically did whatever it took to keep on top of them.  The minions often came close to running out, and the event cards came thick and fast, cutting off the taverns in short order and shutting down our rumour gathering, and the corruption spread pretty fast too, so we had to keep on top of that as well, which I usually tend to ignore.  I even unexpectedly found myself an unlikely unicorn ally early on and was galloping around like a loon, trying to stay safe in the forests, and calling upon my animal allies to keep the green locations free of minion clusters wherever I could.  Dave and Jackie took out the first couple of generals, and I took the third before we all teamed up to take down Gorgutt in a suitably epic showdown for the fairly hard earned win.  Yep, still love this game – Launius is a game designer genius for coming up with this stuff.

Players = 3
Games played in 2014 = 4
Rating in 2013 = 10
Rating in 2014 = 10

Arkham Horror

Actually finally managed to play a game from the List.  I’ve been trying to work out how long it is since we last played this game.  I think it’s about five years!  Which is a bit unfair because this is the game that got me back into board games when it was released.  We even rounded up five players for this session, I was Joe Diamond, Jackie was Kate Wintrhop, Dave was Harvey Walters, Leki – Tony the bounty hunter, Sam – Bob the salesman.  We shuffled in all the expansion stuff (except for Miskatonic – never picked it up) and used the Dunwich town board with our usual house rules - discard three allies per terror track increase, and alternate mythos draws between Dunwich one turn and the main deck (with the small expansion mythos cards shuffled in) the next turn, which is basically just less hassle to sort out.  We took on Azathoth so we didn’t have to worry about the gamey final battle and just concentrated on sealing gates.  Well, closing gates actually, because very early on we got the rumour which requires two gate trophies from a single investigator to beat.  And striving to stop this would be our undoing.  With hindsight we probably should have left it because I never failed the roll which increases the terror track.  It was a long game, as is normal, and everyone was getting into building up their hero and cracking on with some monster slaying, gate closing, loot gathering action.  There was some slight coordination and trading but everyone was invested in everyone else’s turns.  I got myself deputised and hopped over to Dunwich to keep it clear, and everyone kept jumping through gates, with or without 5 clues, which meant we were closing a lot.  And whilst the doom track didn’t get too high, the gate limit crept upwards and after a good few hours of adventuring and monster bashing, the final gate opened and brought about the world’s end, with us barely realising.  In fact, it came to someone drawing a mythos card and asking ‘What’s the gate limit?  Oh, really?  Well, then we just lost.’  All in, still great fun, kinda bloated and mechanically clunky compared to newer games, but I love the variability in everything and all the mega card decks, and would be happy to play this again whenever.  Nothing really compares to it in terms of adventure and narrative and it will continue to keep a respectable top spot in my gaming list, especially for those times when I can be bothered to get it all set up.  Hopefully won’t be another five years before we play it again!

Players = 5
Games played in 2014 = 1
Rating in 2013 = 10
Rating in 2014 = 10

Shadows of Brimstone

Well, still no sign of my copy arriving, FFP refusing to respond to emails, and jaw-droppingly deleting comments from Facebook that they don’t like because people are asking what’s going on, and removing their fans’ own generated content from Printer Studio all makes for a really bad taste.  I’m taking solace in the fact that I’ve got other games to be getting on with, but this has really pissed on the excitement I have had for the game since its announcement.  That said, me mate Dave did get his copy, and brought it round for us to try out.  It wasn’t technically supposed to be on The List, and notwithstanding my reservations about how the company handles itself publicly, I was still very eager to try the game.  And what a game.

Yes, they’ve pinched liberally from Warhammer Quest, but so what?  The reinvention is slick, polished, and extremely enjoyable.  Dave and Jackie already had a duo Rancher and Saloon Girl with some XP and gear so I took on a Gunslinger, Harry Rider, to join them in looking for some Darkstone down t’mines.  

Our first room held a portal to another world, so after some creepy encounters, some lots of failed scavenging and a ruck with a few baddies, we popped through the portal to the swamps of Jargono.  We were immediately set upon by zombies and tentacles and other things that go sludge in the night, and before I knew it I was chucking dynamite and firing off round after round with my Hell Pistol, which they’d very kindly donated to me.  The Gunslinger is kick-ass for taking out baddies, but not so good at soaking up damage.  Whilst the Saloon Girl dodged and kicked and weaved, and the Rancher just took it on the chin whenever something hit him, once poor Harry had taken a couple of hits he hit the dirt fast.  The first time I got decked we spent our Healing Surge (Revive token) so I could get back up and carry on, but by the time we reached the final room it was wall to wall with monsters.  Tentacles, stranglers, hungry dead, void spiders, corpse piles and a nice big night terror to boot.  In fact, it looked pretty ridiculous to be honest.  Nevertheless we plowed on and started mowing down the hordes between their nipping and biting at us.  This is where it started to jam up a bit and become a lot like Warhammer Quest, you just sit and roll off against the monsters.  I had this plan for us to run back and get to a choke point where they could only come at us two at a time, but the game doesn’t really allow for this kind of tactical play because of the pinning rules, which they unfortunately kept from WHQ.  

So instead you essentially roll back and forth until one side wins.  Luckily, this is mitigated by the skills and items and other effects you can play, and I had these cool mega bullets I could fire to do more damage when I hit.  My rolling wasn’t too bad in this game and I was tearing out chunks of monster guts and limbs with each shot.  The rancher had been mostly missing and just tagging along for the view, whilst the saloon girl was ducking and weaving and kicking and shooting her way through the swamps.  But, ridiculously outnumbered, the saloon girl and gunslinger soon got KO’d and the end was certain.  As Dave’s rancher resigned himself to a grisly fate, he laughed that if he rolled a double six for our darkness roll an event would revive us both and we’d be back in the action.  I said, ‘Well, roll a double six then.’  And he only bloody well did!

We pounced back up into action and took out a whole bunch more baddies before being KO’d again.  Dave’s brave rancher finally joined in the game and with some seriously good rolling he went into full sniper role and took out all the remaining stragglers, one after the other, and then headed with grim determination towards the final two corpse piles, previously blocked off by the hordes and thus constantly generating deadites.  And then the Darkness escaped the mine and we lost the game.  :(

The rancher and saloon girl sisters dragged the broken body of the gunslinger (broken arm and collar bone) back to town, where one of the shops had shut in protest at our failed endeavour.  I hauled myself to the doctor’s for some meds and surgery.  He turned out to be a drunk, but a pretty good drunk, and botched the ops so badly he gave me some cool scar tissue.  I’d racked up a fairly impressive 480xp but needed 500 to level up.  Saloon girl and rancher went shopping and pick-pocketing and cavorting and earned some cash and bought some bits and pieces, and they’d both levelled up during the adventure.  So, with no money left after my doctoring (I even had to borrow for that!) I went to hang out at the saloon for the last day in the town.  And rolled an encounter which gave me the final 20xp I needed for that all important level up!  Can’t wait to get stuck back in and continue the adventures of Harry and the Ellis (sp?) sisters.  Also can’t wait till my bloody copy arrives…


UPDTE – since writing this my copy HAS finally arrived (minus character sheets and red sprues).  Those bloody miniatures!  Took me fucking forever to assemble them, and I glued my thumbs and fingers together numerous times.  But don’t talk to me about plastic cement, I had an absolute nightmare with it trying to assemble Sedition Wars, so I’ll still use super glue anyway.  So after about 10 hours solid I finally had them built, leaving the Harbinger’s wings off so I can put it back in the box.  You call it plastic ‘flash’, I call it ‘flair’ because all my miniatures are showing it off.  At least every other SOB owner can take hear that their version is better assembled than at least mine!  But really, the mini quality is just not there.  Don’t get me wrong, they’re good miniatures, but not even as good as any other game in my collection (except maybe Warfighter).  Which makes all the fuss around them, and their ‘hobby level quality’, and having to bloody assemble them yourself, well it makes it a total washout for me.  This, combined with FFP’s frankly shitty attitude towards their fans’ efforts to help the game along, further combined with their money grabbing mine shafting, has somewhat soured me on FFP and the game.  HOWEVER.  It is still a solid game, and they make good stuff generally, and they’re clearly passionate about what they do, which makes me want to support them.  After all, we all make mistakes, I just hope FFP can learn from theirs.

Players = 3-4
Games played in 2014 = 2
Rating in 2014 = 8.5

Legendary Encounters: An Alien Deck Building Game

Now that our little group has expanded we were looking for a quick 4 player game at the end of the night, so we fired this up and with everyone’s favourite film being Aliens it was that scenario we went for.  We dealt avatars randomly and got the scout, medic, technician and merc.  A couple of us took some minor wounds and we had the usual slow start whilst we honed our decks, but we soon took control of the game and coasted to a fairly easy finish with very few surprises.  But it was still fun and everyone had a good time with the game - the art is still great, and the theme is good for a deck builder too.  So it seems the default rules at any player number make the game pretty easy once you know the tactics.  Which means this is the last time we’ll play this way – that difficulty is getting a proper boost next time.  Also, I was kicking myself for not quickly going over the hidden agendas and alien player rules as we haven’t used them yet (having only played 2 player games so far), so I think this will mix things up nicely next time.  Still a great filler game, and hopefully those extra rules and the increased difficulty will keep that 8 rating in the future.  Otherwise I fear it will be slipping a little I think.

Players = 4
Games played in 2014 = 20
Rating in 2014 = 8



Here follows the rest of the games we want to get through this year - we’re not going to get there anymore, maybe next year....

1. Constantinopolis
2. Dark Darker Darkest
3. Descent: Journeys in the Dark
4. Dungeon Lords
5. Dungeoneer: Vault of the Fiends
6. Magic Realm
7. Omen: A Reign of War
8. Race for the Galaxy
9. The Ares Project
10. Twilight Struggle
11. War of the Ring (first edition)
12. When Darkness Comes: The Nameless Mist

And if we get time:

13. Advanced HeroQuest
14. Greenland


Preference List for 2015:

1. Eclipse
2. Through the Ages A Story of Civilization
3. Mage Knight Board Game
4. Robinson Crusoe: Adventure on the Cursed Island
5. Invaders
6. Warfighter: The Special Forces Card Game
7. A Touch of Evil: The Supernatural Game
8. Fortune and Glory: The Cliffhanger Game
9. Last Night on Earth: The Zombie Game
10. Claustrophobia
11. Defenders of the Realm
12. Dungeons & Dragons: Castle Ravenloft Board Game
13. Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath of Ashardalon Board Game
14. Tales of the Arabian Nights
15. Arkham Horror
16. Nations
17. Legendary Encounters: An Alien Deck Building Game
18. Gears of War: The Board Game
19. Pathfinder Adventure Card Game: Rise of the Runelords - Base Set
20. Star Wars: The Card Game
21. Call of Cthulhu: Collectible Card Game
22. Descent: Journeys in the Dark (Second Edition): Forgotten Souls
23. Return of the Heroes
24. Space Hulk: Death Angel - The Card Game
25. Friday
26. Revolver
27. Rune Age
28. Dungeons & Dragons: The Legend of Drizzt Board Game
29. The Lord of the Rings: The Card Game
30. Resident Evil Deck Building Game
31. Uncharted: The Board Game
32. Dungeon Command: Sting of Lolth
33. X-Wing Miniatures Game
34. Sedition Wars: Battle for Alabaster
35. Doom: The Board game
36. Myth
37. Lords of Waterdeep: Scoundrels of Skullport
38. Agricola
39. Eldritch Horror
40. Shadowrun: Crossfire
41. Innovation
42. Thunderstone
43. Warhammer Quest
44. DC Comics Deck-Building Game
45. Dominion
46. Flash Point: Fire Rescue
47. Space Crusade
48. HeroQuest
49. Runebound (Second Edition)
50. Talisman
51. Lord of the Rings
52. Forbidden Island
53. Dungeons & Dragons: The Fantasy Adventure Board Game (Trade pile)
54. Zombies!!! (Trade pile)

Top 20 most wanted or forthcoming games:

1. Kingdom Death: Monster
2. Shadows of Brimstone
3. Mice & Mystics
4. Super Dungeon Explore: Forgotten King
5. Fireteam Zero
6. Pathfinder: Skulls & Shackles
7. Merchants & Marauders
8. Navajo Wars
9. Archipelago + Solo expansion
10. Tokaido
11. Lewis & Clark
12. Incredible Expeditions: Quest for Atlantis
13. Dead of Winter: A Crossroads Game
14. Imperial Settlers
15. Cruel Necessity 
16. Wtich of Salem
17. The Ancient World
18. Mansions of Madness
19. Ninjato
20. Labyrinth: The War on Terror, 2001-?

No more new games - play what you’ve got!

Inspired by chats with fellow BGG user boom04, and after reading numerous other gamer blogs about playing x games x times, I’ve decided to put a ban on new games being purchased in 2014, with the sort of cop-out caveat that ‘expansion purchases only’ are still allowed.  Whilst saving shelf space and cash and pleasing my non-gamer wife at the same time, it will also allow us a year to play through all the games we’ve already got – and there are a fair few of them, though a very modest collection compared to many other gamers.  If a brilliant, must-have game emerges this year I’ll just have to wait to see if it survives a few months of fair reviewing and the cult of the new to become a lasting classic, and if so I should theoretically have no problem picking it up in 2015 anyway.  I’m also prepared to be proved wrong and break my ban if it’s THAT good.  However, since I have three Kick Starters on their way this year already - Myth, Kingdom Death: Monster and Shadows of Brimstone (spot a pattern??) - we should have enough to be going on with anyway.

So Sam and I, and whoever we can drag in along the way, are going to go through the collection and tick each game off as we go until we’ve tried the whole list.  Outside of play-testing my new designs and solo gaming I usually only really get a weekly evening of proper gaming so actually playing through everything we’ve got solidly might prove tricky.  So far, in January, we’ve managed to stick to the plan though, so I’m interested to see if and how that persists.  I’m going to outline the games played, a brief overview or mini-review of my experiences with said games, and then at the end of the year maybe even decide which ones are for the trade pile and fight my instinct to not trade anything away.  Here are some thoughts on key games, some games that we won’t really need to play, and also what we’ve played so far in no particular order…

Through the Ages: A Story of Civilization

I genuinely had a bout of buyer’s remorse after picking TtA up at UK Games Expo 2012 for a whopping £60, and I figured that despite my enthusiasm for the Civilisation theme it would probably never get played due to time and complexity.  It was a minor agony to pick up and get into rules-wise so when we finally did get around to playing it we took it in stages as the rulebook suggests.  The Basic game in one week’s session, the Advanced game the next, and finally the Full game the week after, with a few rules lookups on BGG.  After that it soon became the regular fixture for three of us for a good few months in 2013 and I absolutely loved it.  After years of gaming, this complex yet bland-looking Euro – albeit with one of my favourite themes ever (always loved Civ on the PC) – unseated all of the trashier minis games and adventure games in my collection to became a strong contender for my favourite game of all time.  And to be honest it remains a contender to this day too.  Nothing beats that feeling of taking a couple of almost cave dudes with pointy sticks and evolving them over the course of an evening (but really over centuries of empire building) into fighter pilots and astronauts.  However, once we discovered the brilliant http://boardgaming-online.com (BGO) the game – and my learning and enjoying it – really took off.  After a comparative handful of weekly TtA games in real life over a few months I’d soon racked up over 100+ games online, and I sometimes won some too.  The online version takes away all the aggro of setting up, playing and tearing down a 5-6 hour game and…  drags it out over days and weeks instead!  But it works beautifully and you can just take it one turn at a time.  I’ll always want the option of being able to pull out the real thing though, and nothing beats that tactility of real cards and physically building your empire over pizzas and beers.

Real life games played in 2014 = 0

Online games played in 2014 = 30+, most of them ongoing

Eclipse

The only thing that knocked TtA aside from its regular weekly spot in 2013 (apart from the fact that we went digital with BGO) was the discovery of another little semi-Euro game called Eclipse, which is weirdly similar to TtA, but which also has plastic space ships which can explore the galaxy and blow shit up.  Seriously I love so much about this game: the awesome components, the development of techs, the blueprints of the ships as you gradually tool up, the absolutely brilliant mathematical way your planets build your economy in science, material and money – it’s just so ‘neat’, the little ships multiplying as your power grows, the exploration aspect of this game, something which I really miss in TtA, and finally, the theme really beautifully evokes Mass Effect, Star Trek, Star Wars, and even the books of Iain M Banks.  I’ve had much less success at winning Eclipse than TtA – I’m not confident enough yet to be aggressive enough I think - but I enjoy it almost as much.  Eclipse became our weekly go-to game in 2013 up until our regular number three player, unfortunately for us, upped and left us to move to Dubai, fortunately for him.  Eclipse definitely works better with three or more players (four players works really nicely) so it won’t see as much play when there are just two of us, though occasionally we are able to rope other victims into playing it too.  It’s on the list in any case, and even if we can’t get a bigger group, Sam and I are going to battle it out at some point and hope that the increased AI presence from the expansion content still keeps us busy and engaged enough.

Games played in 2014 = 0 yet, hopefully this will change soon

Nations

This was an intriguing prospect from the outset, a pared down TtA without all the hassle of setup and tear-down, taking it in turns to take turns - like Eclipse (instead of taking all your actions at once in TtA and then going to put the pizzas in whilst you wait for your next turn), less hassle of upkeep and corruption, more even-handed wars that don’t effectively remove players from the game for hours, etc.  So I squeezed it in as a last minute Christmas 2013 purchase before the gaming embargo slammed down.  It had good stock for me coming from the Lautapeli guys who made Eclipse, and when I opened the box I was only mildly disappointed to see that they’d taken the bland graphic design of TtA and made it…. slightly less bland.  The artwork is a moderate improvement, and the variety of cards is great.  That you’ll only get to see a handful of them each game increases replayability but changes it up from a strategic race to grab the cards you know are eventually coming (in TtA) to a reactive, tactical game based on what might be coming down the line.  It’s unlikely but you might never see any Leaders for example.  Or Advisors as Nations calls them.
It plays a hell of a lot faster than TtA - in one session in January we were able to play three games in one evening.  The solo option is great too and as I’ve said elsewhere it is a doddle to grasp, but a bugger to master, as it should be, and is a great tool for learning the game. There are extra event tiles included specifically for the solo game and a lot of thought has clearly gone into this side of it, which I appreciate, and it rates your play by comparing you to a famous leader like the old Civ PC games used to, so you have a score to strive to beat each time.
I've played about 8 solo games now and would happily break it out again soon. This potentially gives me an unfair advantage in multiplayer games, but you can (and I have) offset that by using the included setup rules to start off on a harder level to other players by producing less resources each turn.
On the whole, I love it and think it will replace TtA in 'real life' for the most part, mainly due to play time, though I will never part with my TtA.

Games played in 2014 = 3

Agricola          

Medieval farming – ugh.  How did this get in here?  Well, I’d been asking for recommendations for Euro games to buy (http://boardgamegeek.com/thread/637276/ameritrasher-wants-a-euro/page/1) and Agricola had held the top spot on BGG for so long I had to see what all the fuss was about.  Since I usually prefer guns, swords, dice, monsters and theme in my games the notion of breaking out ‘the farming game’ isn’t usually appealing to me.  But it was on the list, Sam had spanked me at it last time, and I remember enjoying trying to beat my score in the solo version, so we broke it out.  And it was way more enjoyable than I remember!  In fact I seem to remember thinking this exact same thing last time we played.  After some careful agonising and repeatedly bagging the first turn marker just so Sam could not, I managed to build the best farm I’ve ever made and filled every farm space, which I often don’t manage to do.  I also blocked him on the family reproduction and this resulted in a resounding victory which could have coloured my opinion of the game – last time he wiped the floor with me so maybe we only enjoy games we win!  I really like, and am equally frustrated by, having to choose which actions you can do each turn out of the many that you want to.  And seeing this mechanism carried over into much more thematic games like Robinson Crusoe makes me appreciate just how cool worker placement games can be.  It also has to be said that with the animeeples the components really are quite nice, and it’s a pleasant game to look at, though not beautiful.

So many other games owe Agricola a debt and it’s easy to see why.  I think I’d enjoy it more if at the end you had to fend off an army of orcs which came to burn down your farm, but as it stands it’s still a pretty great game, and we’ve not even cracked open the Komplex card decks yet!  Next time…

Games played in 2014 = 1

Runebound (Second Edition)

Thematically, this is more like it for me – high adventure in a magical world!  That said I’ve racked up some negative experiences with FFG, and their games, and particularly their games’ tendencies towards being beautiful on the surface but bloated and messy underneath.  Unfortunately Runebound embodies these traits quite heavily, and this session was a reminder as to why it doesn’t get played often.
We had to use a few variants to make it more manageable and interesting.  We always play 4 XP to level up instead of 5 because 5 would literally be unbearable – next time we’ll probably play the one where it costs 1+n XP to level up where ‘n’ is the number of level ups you already have.  We’ve got loads of the small deck expansions so the treasure deck is split into the three types (allies, magic, and armour/weapons) and three of each card go into each city’s market deck so that you don’t get hosed if you’ve been dealt the wrong hero class.  Luckily we both had fighters so that wasn’t too much of an issue this time around.  You also have to use Judd Jensen’s excellent Cities of Adventure rules or the cities are boring as hell.  And with hindsight we probably should have used Mr Skeletor’s Midnight/Doom Track from the solo play variant just to have a stronger time limit.  It was an enjoyable game bashing baddies, experiencing bizarre and occasionally pointless events (I had an old hero’s ghost helplessly following Sam around for almost the entire game until he finally decided to whack it on the ghostly head), and levelling up, and there’s a metric ton of variation with the little expansions mixed in.  Though it totally vexes me how the easier green and yellow cards dramatically outweigh the more difficult blue and red cards in quantity, when in actuality you’re looking to move on from green and yellow encounters asap, and the reds which you encounter every game, are limited to just a small handful, it just means that all that green and yellow variety is wasted, whilst the reds become repetitious.  It eventually came down to us both having two out of the three runes required to win, but it went on far too long, well over 3 hours, and after it became obvious that Sam was going to beat me to that final rune, it still took another good twenty minutes to play out the inevitable conclusion.  And those movement dice.  :yuk:  I think I remember defending them years ago, but now I just find them overly complex for what little they achieve.
Overall, it was slightly less enjoyable than I remember, and it dragged with two players so I’d hate to play it with more players, it seems designed almost for solo play – if the included solo doom track rules weren’t completely broken.  But Sam enjoyed it more this time around, so again, maybe the enjoyment is more to do with who wins the game…  ;)

Games played in 2014 = 1

                                                                                                     

Defenders of the Realm

I still love this and would happily play it regularly, we had a great time play-testing the free expansion material, and a load of extra expansion content for Richard, particularly the hopefully forthcoming Companions and Catacombs expansion.  Great mechanics, amazing Elmore art, which I was practically raised on with AD&D, and a real sense of tension all the way through, this is easily one of the best coops available.

Sam is slightly less enamoured with it at the moment though.  We lost three times in a row on all the basic settings, which was somewhat of a surprise since the last few times we played it we had no trouble thrashing those generals.  The Wizard and Sorceress didn’t show up in all three games so maybe that had something to do with it.  I love Defenders of the Realm, I think it nicely fills a grand fantasy war adventure niche, and the support of its designer Richard Launius in supplying continuing free content to expand the experience and of its champion, my man DrCrow, in answering any and all rules questions, are just the highest bar set for board games - Eagle Games are so lucky to have both of them involved.  I’m buzzing for the next trove of content that Richard will dream up for this beauty.

Games played in 2014 = 3

                       

Mage Knight Board Game     

This is another long, long game, and one session of it took all night, a session which I won fairly decisively.  Sam played Krang and I played Wolfhawk and we played a standard Conquest game with all the new stuff shuffled in but none of the new scenarios and no Volkare.

It has to be said, I love Mage Knight.  The wealth of decisions, the way the world randomly populates as it goes, the effects of terrain, the varying encounters, reputation, influence, the deck building and levelling up – it all adds up to a really intricate and detailed package, with tons of brain burning decisions to be made every turn.  Thematically I’m not fond of it all taking place over just three days, I’d prefer it if each action represented a day or something, and I’m not familiar with, nor very interested in, the MK world, but these are very small complaints.  Between this and TtA I became a huge Vlaada fanboy, and that led to my impulse purchase of Dungeon Lords, which I still haven’t yet tried.  As a solo game, Mage Knight is pretty peerless.  As a multiplayer game, as Sam rightly pointed out, it’s a lot like you’re playing different games on the same board at the same time.  Outside of PvP, much like Runebound – though a far superior game to Runebound - there’s little else you can do to influence each other, and the PvP is of no real interest.  I get that the threat of it might add an edge to the game or whatever, but if you come to blows in a two player game like this it’s going to seriously affect the rest of the game one way or another.  Next time we’ll play one of the cooperative Volkare scenarios instead.

Games played in 2014 = 1

Dungeons & Dragons: The Fantasy Adventure Board Game

We broke this out over the hols at the family’s when we had a little downtime and there were no other board games around.  If time permitted I wouldn't actually mind finishing the campaign, more for closure than anything, but this is not a bad little dungeon crawler.  Very simplistic, it’s sort of aimed at families or kids, much like HeroQuest.  The levelling up is too arbitrary for me (you finish x adventures so you go up a level) and we haven’t yet reached the more complex scenarios, so it’s more of a little goblin basher early on.  Also, again like HeroQuest, it’s really not that much fun for the DM player.  Will probably hang on to this until my son is old enough to play, but at the moment it’s really just extra parts for the D&D Adventure System games like Castle Ravenloft.

Games played in 2014 = 3

Forbidden Island

Okay, this is kind of a cheat too because I haven’t played much of the actual board game in ages.  However, it deserves a mention because I have played loads of games of it on the iPad because it plays so quickly.  I probably wouldn't break it out in ‘real life’ unless I'm introducing new players/kids – it made a great present for my 8 and 9 year old nephews for example.  I love the simplicity of the game and the theme, the artwork is absolutely beautiful, and I just think it’s really a perfect little game.  I don’t know why the Forbidden Desert theme doesn’t really do anything for me, I guess it doesn’t seem as exotic or interesting somehow – if they were movies I’d be more interested in seeing Forbidden Island than Forbidden Desert.  I guess I should give Desert a go sometime.  Maybe it’ll make another nice present for my now 9 and 10 year old nephews…  But yes, Forbidden Island will remain in the collection as a gateway game should the need ever arise to introduce somebody to gaming this way.  If it comes to game night though, I’d much rather play and get my teeth into something meatier.

Games played in 2014 (on iOS) = 10

Uncharted: The Board Game

Played an absolute crap ton of this at work last year – over 50 games – with a work-mate who’s not strictly a board gamer but who loves the PS3 games.  Thought I'd be burnt out on it but actually still enjoy it when I do get the chance to play.  It helps to be a fan of the theme because it is quite pasted on, and I’m not a fan of the ‘stills from the video game’ art, nor the very basic graphic design, which is actually a bit of a ball-ache when you’re recompiling the decks at the end of each game (Why do normal treasures have the same borders as normal action cards?  Why??), and indeed it seems like a little bit of a wasted opportunity given how rich and beautiful a game based on the Uncharted series could and should be.  But there’s something extremely compelling in its quick fire, highly tactical, take-that style gameplay that just makes every game a tense and very enjoyable battle for your life – grab the treasures, shoot the bad guys, beat your mates, simples.  Also, having played every single variable layout, game type (regular competitive, coop, solo survival and direct shoot-each-other versus mode), and variable powers hero included I’m still stunned at the enormous replayability.  Honestly, on the surface I can see how this game has been overlooked by the community at large, but I picked it up for £20 and it’s actually a little gem, and not one I’ll be getting rid of any time soon.  In terms of price against play time it’s probably one of the most valuable games in my collection, though to be fair that probably wouldn’t be the case if my colleague didn’t get into it the same way I did.  I intend to do a more detailed review of this at some point to try to help raise its profile some more.

Games played in 2014 = 2

DC Comics Deck-Building Game

Okay, this one gets an honorary mention in the list because in the unlikely event that I don’t get to play it this year, like Uncharted I’ve actually already played it enough with my work mate at lunchtimes to have given it a thorough road testing, so it fills that spot of sort of ‘non-gamer’ game.  And it stands up pretty well.  The theme is almost absent apart from the pretty pictures, it’s bordering on a game of top trumps in that respect, but it’s so simple and fast to set up and batter through a game that it sticks around.  It also allows you to pull off some cool, ridiculous combos that aren’t really balanced at all, but that’s part of the fun.  Like with Forbidden Island and Uncharted, I’d usually prefer to play something heavier come game night, but this is a sweet little filler game – and they have their uses too.  I don’t know if I could strongly recommend this game, it just filled a gap for us.  In all honesty, Marvel Legendary looks more compelling, but this game was another cheapy, and at £20 it was actually a third of the price of Legendary in my FLGS. The set up for Legendary looks like a bit of a nightmare, and that semi coop gameplay seems a bit hokey.  And from the reviews if you play full coop it sounds way too easy.  And at the end of the day I’d take Batman over, well, any Marvel hero…  :whistle:

Games played in 2014 = 0

So that’s it for January, hopefully I’ll do a catch up again soon – I think we’re going to crack on with Doom next.  And finally, here’s the rest of the games we want to get through this year:

Arkham Horror

Dungeons & Dragons: Castle Ravenloft Board Game

Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath of Ashardalon Board Game

Eclipse

Invaders

A Touch of Evil: The Supernatural Game

Warhammer Quest

Dungeons & Dragons: The Legend of Drizzt Board Game

Last Night on Earth: The Zombie Game

Robinson Crusoe: Adventure on the Cursed Island

Tales of the Arabian Nights

Claustrophobia

Doom: The Boardgame

Dungeon Command: Sting of Lolth

Fortune and Glory: The Cliffhanger Game

Gears of War: The Board Game

The Lord of the Rings: The Card Game

Lords of Waterdeep: Scoundrels of Skullport

Pathfinder Adventure Card Game: Rise of the Runelords - Base Set

Resident Evil Deck Building Game

Rune Age

Space Hulk: Death Angel - The Card Game

Star Wars: The Card Game

Thunderstone

Call of Cthulhu: Collectible Card Game

Return of the Heroes

Descent: Journeys in the Dark (Second Edition)

War of the Ring (first edition)

World of Warcraft: The Boardgame

Dominion

Flash Point: Fire Rescue

Descent: Journeys in the Dark

Dungeoneer: Vault of the Fiends

Zombies!!!

Space Crusade

Talisman

HeroQuest

Revolver

When Darkness Comes

Lord of the Rings

Gloom of Kilforth: A Fantasy Quest Game (this will obviously get a lot more play than the other games, but I’ll try not to go on with myself about it too much)

And here are the games we haven’t even played yet, which we’ll hopefully get to squeeze in at some point too:

The Ares Project

Constantinopolis

Dark Darker Darkest

Dungeon Lords

Magic Realm

Omen: A Reign of War

Sedition Wars: Battle for Alabaster

DOTR - One Paladin (and all of his Companions) Against The World

I’d been told that a solo hero could not Defend the Realm, so I set out to prove this to be true.  One slightly cowardly Paladin set out on a one way mission into war and hell.  The following is from another play-test of the forthcoming Companions & Catacombs expansion using a single hero:

The sunlight glistened on the spears, polearms and helmets of the orc battalion as they scoured the forest for their elusive quarry.  The weight of their numbers was terrifying - the earth seemed to shake as they stormed about, grunting and barking at each other.  Amongst their number the gigantic, looming form of their feared General towered over them, pushing them about and urging them to hurry.  “He must be found”, Gorgutt snarled.  Redoubling their efforts in silence the green skinned beasts continued poking their weapons into the thickets of bushes which covered the area.

In the shadows of a nearby cluster of bushes the Paladin’s heartbeat quickened and he held his breath as the monsters approached his hiding place.  An orc sergeant spotted movement in the bush and grunted an order to his men.  They turned as one to regard the now obvious hiding spot.  From the depths of the bushes there came a long, loud fart of fear.

“Oh, screw it,” the Paladin murmured.  He leapt from the darkness, eyes closed and wildly swung his sword about him screaming, “Go away, leave me alone!”

Several minutes later, he reopened his eyes and glanced about at the carnage.  Here an orc’s head was hanging from a branch, there a pair of orc legs stood up still, blood pumping from the waist where a torso should have been.  Shaking, the Paladin lowered his weapon and breathed a curse of disbelief.  Thudding footsteps approached from behind him.

Turning on his heel the Paladin was suddenly faced with the heart-stopping vision of the giant Gorgutt charging towards him.  “You killed all my men!” Gorgutt roared in rage.

“I didn’t mean it!” the Paladin shouted back, raising his sword in front of him and bracing for impact.  Gorgutt tripped on a loose rock and tumbled into the pointed end of the raised sword, face-first.

The first ten cards I’d drawn were green – so clearly I had no choice but to go after Gorgutt.  This being the worst case of shuffling in my whole gaming life I quickly reshuffled the Hero Deck again for about five solid minutes and then carried on.

“A hero to save us at last!” the cries of the villagers seemed to come from everywhere.  Where had they been hiding?  Had they been watching all along?  The Paladin stepped back and withdrew his sword from Gorgutt’s eye and swallowed a mouthful of sick as orc brains slid in grisly lumps from the blade.  A mob of rapturous villagers piled towards him and swept him up onto their shoulders, cheering.  They carried him off to the nearest Inn and shared tales of his bravery with the local adventurers there, who eyed him dubiously.  A couple of brave souls even offered to join him.

“Well, to be honest I think my work here is done,” the Paladin started, “I was just looking to get a place in the country and settle-”

“But, Sir!” cried one of the more vociferous locals, to whom the Paladin had already taken a manifest disliking, “The Black Knight plots against us from his dungeons this very hour.  His revenge for the death of Gorgutt will be terrible and swift – you must stop him!”

“Yes, t’is said he possesses the Harp of the Gods,” blurted another do-gooder, “It must be found or he will rule the Realm!”

“Then together we shall find it!” declared one of the beleaguered Paladin’s newfound friends – Jack or something – with a heroic flourish of his blade.  Before he could even finish his mead the unfortunate Paladin was paraded all the way to the dungeon entrance by the enthusiastic peasants, and thrust into the darkness below, shouts of encouragement and praise echoing from behind him.

As he sauntered into the dungeon with his new Companions, the Corridors seemed Endless, but every time he stopped for a rest his companions dragged him ever onwards.  “What are your names anyway?” he sighed with resignation.

“My name is Balikk.  I’m a friend of the Duke, who was most impressed with your petition for his help.  Some say that the time you spent gathering signatures could have been better spent fighting the Dark Lord’s minions, but we like to do things by the book where I’m from, so your work was greatly appreciated.  And your penmanship is excellent.”

“And what can you do, Balikk?”

“I can create magical fire.”

“SHOW ME!”

“Alright, no need to shout...”

“SHOW ME!!!” cried the Paladin pointing at the Trolls charging down the corridor at them.

Balikk panicked and yelled an incantation.  In an instant the caves were awash with magical fire, leaping from Balikk’s outstretched hands.  “I can’t make it stop!” he yelled above the raging inferno.  The Paladin stood behind Balikk and manoeuvred him along the corridor and into the next room as the arcane flames continued firing out of the bemused wizard’s hands.  A coterie of demons crawled out of the shadows at the intrusion but they were obliterated instantaneously.

The fire from the Wayward Wizard’s hands sputtered and went out, just as the heroes staggered through a doorway onto a crumbling stone bridge.

“I bet this old thing falls to pieces if we try to cross it,” the Paladin mumbled.

It did.

Their feet beat the stone as they raced to the other side and stumbled to the floor, panting and heaving.  Whilst recovering their breath the Paladin looked around at his motley crew.  “Okay, so what do you guys do then?”

“My name’s Drake.  Jake Drake.”

“Cruel parents?”

“Moderately.”

“Where you from?”

“The amazons sent me after you envoyed them.  To make sure you don’t go back.”

“That’s one crazy land, that amazon place.  Chainmail must be very scarce around there,” the Paladin smiled wistfully.  Jake coughed and shook him from his reverie.  “Sorry, yes, what do you do, Jake Drake?”

“Things that you thought happened I can make not happen and then happen again in a different – or perhaps the same – way.  I call it, the Power of Rerolling.”

“Useful.  And how about you, lad?”

“I’m Ian Hawk and I brought my donkey.”

“I see.  And where is this donkey?”

“Um.  It’s outside.”

“You know that I have a trained war stallion outside, right?”

“Well, my donkey knows hidden paths through the mountains.”

“My stallion was trained by the mountainfolk to fight at their very peaks, and track foes through the great passes and ridges for days at a time.”

“My donkey’s called Herbert.”

“I’m just not seeing what exactly you’re bringing to the table here, Ian.”

“Hey, look – a magic pool, let’s go for a swim,” Ian enthused suddenly.

“Wait – listen,” hushed Balikk.

They could hear the sound of a strumming harp coming closer and someone chanting under their breath, “Dah, Dah, Dah, Der, da-DAH, Der, da-DAH!”

“What’s that?” whimpered Ian.

“T’is I, the Black Knight!” the voice shouted.  From around the corner a figure clad in black armour emerged.  “I shall teach you a grave lesson for trespassing in my domain.  Just let me put this harp down over here...”

The heroes watched as the Black Knight clumsily unswung his harp and, cursing, dropped it to the floor.  Recovering his composure he raised his sword and set his evil gaze on the Paladin, “Prepare to die, fool!”  He started at a canter towards the Paladin, who looked around for an exit.

“Hahaha, you’re going to die,” roared the Black Knight, increasing his pace.

The Paladin glanced behind him at the broken Stone Bridge.

“Hehehe, I’m going to run you through,” the Black Knight chortled, charging maniacally.

The Paladin quickly stepped aside and watched the Black Knight careen past him and off the Stone Bridge into the gaping abyss below.

There was a bewildered pause.

“Right, pass me that bloody Harp,” sighed the Paladin, “let’s go kill some Generals.”

“And lo, didst thine brave Paladin taketh the Harp of ye Gods, and, twixt his hardy companions, didst his Holy Quest taketh him to yon edges of ye worlde, whereupon with vexation didst yon Dark Lord’s Generals inter themselves to the ground after visitation with our hero Paladin’s sword,” whispered the old farmer to the gathered crowd at Gryphon Inn.  He took another long slurp of his ale, then continued, “And, yay, was the land of old restoredeth to our noble king, all thanks to our Illustrious Commander, the Conqueror Paladin of the great domain of Monarch City.”

In the corner of the tavern Jake Drake and Ian Hawk shared a look whilst Balikk rolled his eyes...

Actually pulled off a solo hero win! 3 Companions, 2 quests, took the harp of the gods from the black knight in the catacombs. And I was just one taint away from doom, which was the very next Darkness Spreads card...

Defenders of the Realm - Companions and Catacombs

The following is a collection of three session reports using the upcoming Companions and Catacombs supplement for Richard Launius’ kick-arse game Defenders of the Realm...

GAME 1: WIZARD + DWARF


Upon hearing that they were not alone in the Realm, and that there were other eager young adventurers around willing to help them take on the malicious Generals, the Wizard headed to the Inn early, realising how valuable that help would be.  At the Gryphon Inn, his tales of the approaching generals and the inexorable spread of their armies enthralled all those present, and from a shadowy corner next to the fireplace a hooded figure stepped forward.


Throwing back their cloak, that very person was revealed to be a beautiful young maiden, who was very famous, and popular with the kids.  “My name is Princess Karollyn and I will join you.  But in doing so I must warn you that even now the Dark Lord has summoned his Warlords and Darkness is spreading across the land as we speak.  We must not tarry.”


From the opposite corner of the Inn a mighty knight clad in gleaming armour kicked back his stool and stood to his feet, towering over the rabble of drinkers.  His face looked flushed and there was a whiff of whisky.


“Sir Robert Crowsdell!”, gasped a local, “Surely he will hell aid us in our hour of need?  Have you come to lead us from darkness, Sir Robert?”


There was a pause as the courageous knight swayed a little.


“Pzz off, shn’b lizl.  ‘Hisky dammit!”  Sir Robert bravely belched and staggered out of the tavern door, never to be seen again.  (FYI - I blame DrCrow entirely for this personal dissing, it was clearly nothing to do with me not having the right hand of cards...)


Unfazed, the Wizard and Princess set off together and fell upon the Generals’ minions with a vengeance, first hunting down the terrible Warlords plaguing the lands.  The Wizard became an Undead and Orc Hunter and later would face off against Varkolak and prove victorious, also becoming the Undead Slayer.


Meanwhile, the Dwarf took a similar tactic and decided to get some help of his own.  He quickly enlisted Dakk Wulfe, who was happy to come along.  For a turn.  Whereupon he was discarded to clear out minions from a particularly nasty location.  “Fare the well, Dakk, thanks for coming,” the Dwarf snarled.


The formidable Dwarf fought on alone to become the Demon slayer and the Dragon slayer.  Then he entered the deadly Dungeon.  Boulders came crashing down around his head as he darted through the dark caverns.  Orc archers emerged from the shadows to defend their home but were quickly cut down by the seething Dwarf.  Racing through the dank caves the tireless Dwarf stumbled upon a Demonic spawning pit.  As hellspawn began to emerge from the rank pit the hardy Dwarf stood at the edge and swung his axe repeatedly, guiding the hapless devils back to their ethereal homes, albeit headless and bleeding.  When no more emerged, the (insert choice adjective) Dwarf lit a cigar and rested against a cracked Boulder - which had been following him through the dungeon - surveying the entrance leading deeper into the depths.


Just then an orc patrol emerged from the passageway.  They glanced at the giant axe concealing a disgruntled Dwarf, then they looked at the pile of demon heads littering the floor.  The Dwarf sighed deeply and dug his cigar butt into the boulder.  “Come on then, ye blighters,” he snarled.


Seconds later he was stepping over the bits of orc and entrail and running for his life.  The ceiling was collapsing again, and more vicious Boulders dropped and rolled, trying in vain to crush the unfortunate Dwarf.


He had been running for so long, it seemed as though the Corridors were Endless.  Thankfully they weren’t, and he came upon an underground lake, a magical pool where he bathed and rested for a while to regain his strength.  He slowly finished his last cigar and stared at the huge, ancient doorway leading to the Treasure Chamber.  Getting to his feet and towelling off the magic waters, he pushed the door open and stepped through, “Right then, you bastar-” he started.


From within a legion of invincible Gargoyles teemed out and battered the beleaguered Dwarf.  Ripping at his flesh with their stone claws and teeth the Dwarf fought bravely as they chased him all the way back out of the dungeon.  The mean Gargoyles beat the crap out of the poor Dwarf and kicked him out of their dungeon, whereupon he stumbled into the arms of awaiting minions, who promptly chopped his face off and stole his beard.  Which now serves as a knitted blanket for orc babies.


The Dwarf was replaced on his quest by the ever eager Eagle Rider who was around for just long enough to follow the Wizard and watch him kill Gorgutt for the win!






GAME 2: CLERIC + ROGUE


The Cleric had been travelling for days and finally had found the Helm of Power.  Resting it carefully on her head, she stepped over the bodies of the dead minions scattered around her and gingerly entered the Dungeon of Bones.  Crossing the long, quaking Stone Bridge she screamed as it suddenly fell apart beneath her.  Nearly plummeting to her doom into a Demon Pit, she caught a handhold and clambered back onto the bridge, narrowly avoiding the arrows of the Orc Archers waiting for her on the other side of the Bridge.  A brief battle ensued but was ended quickly when Boulders - deadly, crashing, evil, almost sentient Boulders - fell from the ceiling crushing nearly everything and filling the caverns with choking dust.


Running from the dust cloud and deeper into the dungeons the Cleric shrieked again and was swarmed by thousands of biting, nipping Rats pouring from the walls and ceiling.  Brushing herself off as they disappeared back into the cracks and crannies around her she discovered a Magical Fountain, where she bathed in slo-mo, restoring her energy and pausing briefly to pose for an impromptu Sports Illustrated Swimwear shoot.  The Troll photographers turned on her when she refused to trampoline for them and things got nasty, gory and bloody real fast.


Wiping the Troll brains from her mace, the fraught Cleric stepped into the Treasure Chamber and finally faced the evil, always laughing, but never joke-sharing, Black Knight.  In a somewhat protracted, epic battle, they actually ended up killing each other simultaneously, the Cleric dashing the Black Knight’s brains in with her mace at the exact same moment that his black sword took her head from her shoulders.  The Cleric’s Helm of Power clattered to the floor as her head rolled out of it.


Whilst at the same time...


The Cleric’s BFF, ‘Rogue’ the Rogue, quested like a lunatic, becoming a Demon Hunter and discovering the Crystal of Light.  Going up against the Generals she wasted no time in becoming the Orc Slayer and the Undead Slayer.  And whilst getting absolutely wasted during a victory piss-up at the Inn, her tall stories attracted the attentions of Balikk the Wayward Fireballing Wizard who decided to join her and pledge to her his Balls of Fire.


Together they entered the Dungeon of Bones to avenge the poor Cleric.  Instantly they were trapped inside by a slamming Portcullis, accosted by Harpies and harangued by Orcs.  Being the Orc Slayer, Rogue instantly slew the miserable Orc squad.  Only to see a vile Beholder flying down the corridor at them.  Running away into Endless Corridors and avoiding the ubiquitous falling Boulders, Rogue and Balikk eventually came face to face with...  An Army of Minions.  Slaying the crap out of them - and with Balikk Fireballing their heads off - Rogue staggered into the Treasure Room, victorious.  With a cry of joy she held aloft the totally awesome Flaming Sword! 


Glancing at the Cleric’s dismembered body the Rogue casually picked up the Cleric’s Helm of Power, and, whistling nonchalantly, she headed out of the dungeon and back into the daylight.


Our tragic heroine the Cleric had been quickly replaced in a last minute script rewrite by (my personal favourite) the Ranger, who overcame his uncanny predilection for rolling ‘1’s to be called a Dragon Hunter and the Dragon Slayer.  He even successfully petitioned the King of the Gryphons for assistance in the war, and, finally, he killed Balazarg becoming the Demon Slayer and defending the Realm for the good of all and FOREVER*!






* not actually forever.




GAME 3: SORCERESS + PALADIN


The Sorceress was an addicted quester.  This ‘Questing’ business was catching.  She’d been to classes and groups to try and overcome her addiction but to no avail.  “I Quest all the time,” she complained, “I can never get anything done.  I haven’t even washed these clothes in weeks, I’ve been so busy bloody Questing.”


She also gossiped like nobody’s business and overcame Rumours, Hunted Dragons, Envoyed the Duke, enlisted the Gryphon King, and found the Crystal of Light (which presumably the Rogue had dropped somewhere a long time ago whilst pissed up on booze).  The Sorceress had also heard from the Wizard that Princess Karollyn was game for pretty much anything, so she headed to the Inn to enlist her.  After a few days’ drinking she also decided to take the curios, slightly withdrawn Night Feather along for a laugh, who she ended up using and abusing so much that he eventually just shouted “Screw this, I hate you”, and left.


The Sorceress’ brother, who was a graduate from Paladin College, had long ago decided that he would take all the glory in the world for himself and he feverishly hunted down the Generals one by one, assassinating the Orc, Dragon and Undead Generals to become Chief Slayer of Almost Everything.  Picking up his only friend Cyriss Glenn along the way, he found the Banner of Valour, the Amulet of the Gods, the Tree of Magic, and became Envoy to the Elves.  Songs were written of his legend.


But those same songs were quickly erased with giant mind-rubbers just a few days later...


It transpired that there could be such a thing as “altogether far too much Questing”.


The Camel-Straw-Back interface came when the Sorceress flashed her Questing right in Balazarg’s face.  “Haha,” she giggled to the bemused Demon Lord as he looked at her with annoyance, “I’m even Questing YOU,” she taunted, as she danced around Scouting his location and casually breaking his minions’ necks.


Her Paladin Bro stormed into the clearing, “Enough of this tomquestery!  Avast, yon Demon, thou hast breathed thine last!  I, who slew the Orc King, who slew the vile Undead Lord, and who – lest thou forgetst - also didst slayed - slew – slay Sapphire, the Dragon Lady, have cometh to kill you!”  He drew his sword and held it to the Demon Lord’s throat.  Balazarg sniffed impatiently and snapped the Paladin’s sword in two.


You could hear the Paladin gulp.


Flicking his tail, the Demon Lord launched both Paladin and Sorceress into the air.  As they flew through the air they discussed plan for retribution (FYI the plan was, to quote the Paladin, “The same again”).  A couple of miles later, their plan complete, they landed in two fortunately placed bales of hay.


The second time around Balazarg was even less impressed.  Before the Paladin could begin his sermon, the Demon Lord plucked one of his arms off and began gnawing on it.


“I’m alright, I’m alright,” the Paladin mumbled to his sister as they staggered away, defeated, and repeatedly slipping in the poor Paladin’s blood as it spurted all over the place from his gaping wound.


Realising his time was short, the Sorceress wiped away her tears and asked her dying brother, “Do you have any regrets?”


“Frankly?” he gasped, as Balazarg marched his unstoppable army into Monarch City, “I probably didn’t do enough...  Dungeoneering...  Bleurrrurrrrgh....”








OVERALL




Just.  Epic.  Stuff.
We literally will not be playing without the C&C rules anymore and I look forward to the official release with baited breath.  Richard’s support for this game is legendary, and his plans for its future are inspiring.  It’s fair to say that there is no game designer around that works as hard to keep his product alive and truly kicking arse.  And I’ve not even got started on the Summer League stuff yet!


Epic.


Big thanks to Richard for all his work on this, and shouts out to DrCrow for his awesome support as the real life “Chief Slayer of Almost Everything” - even if you did diss me back at Gryphon Inn.  ;)